For some (well… for most of us) it can take a while to find that ‘perfect match’. Someone who you can finally connect with, and may see a possible future ahead that doesn’t include returning borrowed CDs and cutting out their heads out of all your pictures. But what if that special someone lives on the other side of the world (or even just in another city, too far to access on a regular basis)? That’s when we need to explore our creative side to keep the passion and interest alive.
(NOTE: This recipe also works if your partner is away on business a lot)
– A fast internet connection
– Registration with ‘Skype’, ‘FaceTime’, ‘Viber’ or anything else out there
– A webcam (not compulsory, but it helps to add some flavour)
– A separate bank account or jar in your kitchen labelled ‘trips to go see *insert cute petname*
– A fool-proof hobby
– A nice erotic book/magazine, vibrator, tissues and lotion or a sturdy shower head for those well.. ahurm.. lonelier nights ….
– Patience (and a buck load of it!)
So you’ve said your goodbyes at the airport, and you’ve now come home to prepare for X amount of time without your partner.
1) First of all, allow yourself to have a cry (yes, you burly, manly, tobacco-spittin’ men.. that includes you!!). Because no matter how much of a romantic picture the movies or your friends will try and paints of the situation to make you feel better, being apart sucks.
2) Arrange regular Skype chats or phone conversations. The quantity of these varies from couple to couple. You may want to chat every day or you may want to miss each other a little and chat every few days or once a week. Focus more on quality then quantity.
3) Video chats can be very off putting. Even though you can hear and see each other, it’s still puts a ‘damper’ on something that would come far more natural when you’re face-to-face. This may sound silly and far too organized, but sometimes writing down a few things you’ve been meaning to talk about can help the conversation flow. It happens quite often that you finally see each other and are too stumped to remember what the heck it was you wanted to tell them (and in my situation, they think the screen has frozen and hang up on you..)
4) For those who are not afraid to dabble in some ‘sexy time’, set the mood… Turn off your phones, lock your door (this is especially important if you live in shared housing… ask my old roommate..) and choose your ‘décor’. A webcam does have its advantages where you can show off (or hide) certain parts of your body. Create a soft light effect to place yourself in the chapter of a cheap, steamy novel; or you can go all out there like a porn star (whatever blows your hair back). I wouldn’t show too much at once, as most video chats are prone to connectivity problems, and the last thing you want is a blurry, pixulated and very unflattering picture of your special bits!
5) During the times where you don’t get to have contact, it is important to not emphasise too much on the fact that you are apart. Surround yourself with friends or family, or find a hobby you enjoy and can help you take your mind off things (not only useful when doing long-distance, but a general everyday wellness tip). Losing oneself in the seemingly experience of ‘loneliness’ will only make the time go slower. Of course, the occasional dunking of a bottle of wine or eating half a bag of chips and feeling sorry for yourself, as a way of letting it out, can help.. but in moderation.
6) The ingredients that include various erotic toys need no further explanation. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone does it… and those who say they don’t are, in my opinion, bit fat liars.. (or missing out at the least!!) It’s completely natural and can even add some spice to point nr 4 .. go for it !! (Unless the reader of this recipe is a teenager… you shouldn’t be thinking about sex already.. now go put on a chastity belt… and stay in school!)
7) Saving up to go and see each other is not always easy and will very much depend on how far you are from each other and if work-related trip can assist financially. For the money savvy people, open a separate bank account and be the good little saver that you are! For the breezy spenders (such as myself), buy yourself a pretty glass jar and place it is a visible space. Each time you have some spare change, the 20 dollar birthday gift from grandma in your card or extra cash you earned doing a double shift, stick it in the jar and save, save, save (tip: sticking a picture of your loved one can aid in motivation to put that money aside).
In the end, a lot of patience is required to survive a long distance relationship. Certain milestones, such as the date of your next visit together, the time of your next chat or even better the date you can reunite for good, also help in passing the time apart, and seeing a light at the end of that tunnel.