Only a few are lucky enough to find a soul mate pretty much straight away (if you even believe in the notion that there is only one person for everyone out there.. it’s a scary thought). Regardless of your romantic views on who you will end up with, at one stage, many of us have taken a dip (or swam a marathon) in the turbulent waters of the dating pool..
Although many of said dates can be very pleasant and result in fabulous relationships, many have also endures that, oh so common, ‘bad date’. It can be the guy who pics his nose (rolls it into a ball and flicks it on the floor… made me reconsider my order of extra dumplings, that one), the girl who laughs like a hyena and calls her mother mid-date… or the worst bad date of all… the one where you absolutely have nothing to say to each other!!
– A fully charged mobile phone
– A plausible Plan B for the evening
– A friend in standby with ‘an emergency’
– Enough cash to go ‘double dutch’ and split the bill if the situation calls for it
You’ve arrived at the agreed upon location, your eyes meet across the room, the mood is set.. and there it is… nothing. No spark, no attraction, and in some cases even, a little disgust or disappointment. Because you are a nice human being and don’t want to hurt any feelings by running for the hills screaming; you stick with the date and sit down.
1) If the date ends up being someone you are just not physically attracted to, but they have a great personality (usually the selling point your friend focused on when setting you two up), have a nice dinner and enjoy your evening. Be clear during the date that you are not attracted to them (this does NOT warrant the use of words like ‘repulsed’, ‘fugly’ or ‘ten foot pole’), but rather don’t lead them on by physical touch or making any further non-platonic plans with them.
2) If you end up being on a date of hell, and can’t possibly see yourself finishing the evening, have a friend call you with an ‘emergency’ and leave. Caution though, as this is a commonly used and very well known technique to blow people off, you’ll probably end up hurting someone’s feelings in the end anyway. You can always cut the date short instead and have your ‘very upset, crying’ friend as an excuse for not having a night cap or a romantic walk after dinner.
3) On the first date, it is always wise to meet for a drink somewhere first. If you like what you see, you can always suggest dinner or a movie after. If it’s not quite as enjoyable as you had hoped, explain you have dinner plans, it was nice meeting them and just don’t commit to a second date. (If you do get sucked into a second date, repeat until successful.. or until you end up being just drinking buddies).
4) If you are on that horrible date where you have nothing to talk about, and you’d rather jab that fork in your eye than start yet another conversation about their cat or the weather, suggest to go see a movie, sit in silence and enjoy the flick. At least you got to see the new release and who knows, you may have something to talk about after. If boredom itself is still a third wheel, just thank them for the evening and each go your own way (and resist the urge to hum the song ‘You can go your own way’ by Fleetwood Mac).
Don’t judge a book by its cover though, be aware that as beautiful, handsome, funny and intelligent you may be… you can also be seen as the ‘bad date’. Give someone a chance (even as a possible friend) before writing them off fully…… Unless you are pretty certain you’re on a date with a serial killer and he just asked you to come check out his van.. then you should run.. fast.