‘All that Jiggles’ – Life Recipe: A start to losing the Baby weight

As a new mommy, I had the very cocky (and somewhat naive) idea that after a bit of exercise and eating healthy, the baby weight would just fall off and I would be back into my old jeans, in no time.  Safe to say, I had a little reality check, post-delivery, and spiraled into an ‘oh-gosh-I’m-so-fat-nothing-is-working-damn-to-hell-this-blubbery-post-baby-belly!!’

It didn’t take much to upset me those first few weeks. I remember going clothes shopping with hubby, which resulted with me close to being in the fetal position in the dressing room, because the size (M) top was just too darn tight for the two monstrosities in the front (aka my boobs) and the yoga pants did a swell job putting an imaginary spotlight on the muffin top that is neither fat nor skin (but more a massive empty cave in my stomach, covered by a skin colored layer of pizza dough).

After feeling sorry for myself one night and eating my child’s body weight in peanut butter out of the jar, I did snap out of it though and thought to perhaps take on a more realistic approach. I was planning a trip to see my family at the beach and, although majestic in stature, nobody wants to be mistaken for a beluga whale when snorkeling in the ocean.  I started listening to the supportive words of loved ones who saw I was about a cheeseburger away from just giving up; and began the long haul of getting rid of the kangaroo pouch … (still ongoing)

1)      Don’t compare yourself to others! Some ladies are very lucky and walk out of the hospital looking like Heidi Klum.. ..good for them… give an appreciative applause.. (wallow in hidden resentment that your body is being an a**hole and making you work for it, even after you just pushed a watermelon out of an opening the size of a nostril or been cut in half during a C-section.. pardon the graphics) … and now, move on.  You are stuck with your body and unless you have the unlimited financial capability to get plastic surgery or hire a personal trainer for 6 days a week….you’ll have to work with it yourself.

2)      You don’t have to go fast, you just have to go..!! Take your time! It took 9 months to grow that little angel; it will take at least that to get back into shape! Whatever worked for you before, will still work for you now.. the times it takes to do so will just stretch out a little.. Just like the skin on our butts did 😉  Every day you make an effort to do something towards your goal of slimming back down: be it taking a nice walk or experimenting with a new, healthy recipe. If you make an effort each day (no matter how big or small), that’s where change will start to happen.

3)      When receiving comments such as ‘wow, I though you already had the kid’ or ‘well..*high pitch know-it-all* welcome to being a parent, teehee”’ just think: People are stupid and insensitive. Imagining you (extra belly fat and all) high five-ing them in the face, with a chair, will only serve as a motivational tool to keep you on track!

4)      Start a physical activity that you enjoy… the aim is to get fit and lose weight, but the activity itself should focus on having a good time. I started attending a Zumba class, and although I am feeling fat jiggle around in places where I didn’t even know I had any, I try to put that aside and enjoy it. Sure, I look like a dancing ironing board at the back of the class, but my focus is on how good it will feel to see the changes as I get more confident and fit.

5)      If you do fall off the wagon, and find yourself crying in the closet clutching a bag of chips (not my proudest moment) don’t give up. We can’t all stay positive and motivated every second of every day…Remember why you started in the first place, dust the chip crumbs off your baby-drewl-soaked T-shirt and keep on going!

“Your body can do almost anything, it’s your brain that you need to convince” (man I wish I could take credit for that quote, cause I love it, but I read it somewhere during my desperate online search for ‘easy-and-lazy-ways-to-just-have-it-all-fall-off-oh-commoooon!!” in Google…

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