The Illogical Thinking of a Yo-Yo Dieter

There are millions of diets out there, and boy have I tried a few over the years…

You see, up until the age of 20, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted… until one day I woke up with boobs… (which was an awesome day)…. but unfortunately a few weeks later the hips and butt followed… I don’t believe you necessarily need to be obese or overweight to feel self conscious, as I know many women of different sizes plagued by the little monster hiding in their bathroom scales.

After giving birth to our daughter, I took on the naive attitude that the kilos would just fall off as I board the Express Baby Train, but I was sadly mistaken as I realised I had accidentally jumped on the local train that stops at every station.. I’ll get there eventually.. it’s just taking a bit longer.

With the desire to try a new diet or simply eating healthy and exercising, also come some roadblocks that get in the way of our goal to strut our stuff in those new pair of jeans…

1) You’ve set your goals, and just finished a 45 min workout , and for the life of you, you just don’t understand why on earth it is a cheeseburger that you are craving ?!

2) You’ve lost a kilo or two… hence you feel you have that leeway now to cram in that brownie right?.. I mean,because you have the extra space?

3) You’ve displayed immense will power one day by resisting all temptations that were thrown in front of you, so it’s only (il)logical to rewards yourself with some potato chips today… because.you know..you were so strong yesterday?

4) I once had a phase of ‘I-dont-care-what-I-eat-I’m-working-60-hours-weeks-here’ until the guy at the local McDonald’s asked me if I wanted ‘the usual’… it is NEVER ok to have a ‘usual’ at a fast food place!! You’re pressed for time so take a salad you say? … going to McDonald’s for a salad is about as similar as going to a prostitute for a hug.  Safe to say, I found an alternative option to eat healthy when I didn’t have the time to cook.

5) You start hearing voices saying “hey, have a chocolate” followed by another one screaming “put.down.the.cupcake.fatty!” and you’re not sure if it’s the hunger talking or an early onset of Allzheimer’s.

6) You buy ‘high fibre, only 97 calorie’ biscuits .. and end up eating the entire box in one hit… (but wait, no, but they’re healthy!)

7) You fall victim to ‘secret snacking’ where you find yourself sneaking a handful of grated Parmesan cheese out of the fridge before bed time (this happens a lot when you’re dieting with a friend or partner).  If you ate the cheese, and no one was there see it, did you really eat it?

8) You watch a weight loss show and instead of being motivated, you focus on how much bigger the participants are than you and you think ‘oh, I could be worse I guess’ as you reach for a second helping of pasta. (Not really the shows’ goal here, I’m thinking) In saying that, good job to those people on the show for obviously being far more motivated and willing than us couch potatoes!

9) You spend the last week on the newest syrup diet where your meals consisted of a slimy liquid containing some kind of magical berries grown by weight loss master monks in the Himalayas, with a side of lettuce and have lost 5 kilos! success!! But then reality hits where you eat a normal meal and instantly gain 3 kilos in one sitting.

10) You’ve just pigged out and have the M&Ms bloat, so you go put on some looser pants and a big T-shirt and it all doesn’t seem that bad after all… I’m sure it’s just water build up as you usually feel better in the morning. 😉

Keep up the good work, don’t kick yourself when you’ve fallen off the wagon and just get back on that treadmill  😀

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