Back when I was a tween, coming from a family where the women are well known for their ample bosoms, I felt a little out of place at first with my skinny frame and flat chest. My cousins even told me one day to eat cabbage and massage them to make them grow (which of course I did, much to their amusement).
Well…. let me tell you that at age 20 I finally got the boobies… hurrah!! But shortly after, the thighs and butt followed and haven’t stopped growing since!! At first, I happily embraced my two new friends, grabbing them in front of the mirror when I could (much like a teenage boy would had he woken up with boobs one day). But over the years I have quickly learned that having a larger chest is not all it’s cracked up to be. If anything, those nippled meatballs, are a pain more often than not.
Here are 14 reasons why I, and some of my fellow bigger boobed friends, sometimes don’t like having larger breasts:
1) I live in Hong Kong, being mainly Asian sizes, most bra collections anywhere usually have me thinking this:
2) Running: When you run, you often need 2 if not 3 x sport bras. One for the initial shock wave and the second to keep those puppies in place. With the third your air intake is usually cut off leaving you dry heaving at the side of the road with a collapsed lung.
3) Whatever top you wear, your boobs will pop out and make an appearance at one point during the day. (if they don’t pop out from the front, some might escape from the side). Any shirt with any buttons will require a singlet underneath for the (not so) unlikely event of a button or two shooting off.
4) Dresses usually come in two styles: sexy or frumpy. If you wear a figure hugging dress, chances are your ladies are on show, and if you find one that covers them nicely, you look like you’re wearing a tent.
5) When you lie down on your side, you don’t look like a sexy Titanic Rose with perky bits sticking up in all the right angles… no no, you rather look like a someone with a smooth chest and a growth mass attached to whichever side you’re lying on. (or as someone experienced her boob being caught under hubby’s elbow as they woke up one morning… ouch!)
6) Men .. in fact, women as well…. everyone will gravitate to talk to your boobs. This is not always a sign of disrespect, as I have had many try really hard not to…. but they are there… in your face…. and the eyes always gravitate down (much like your boobs do). Even worse when you yourself are short because then your cleavage is literally all they can see!
7) The perky 20s don’t last very long, as the shear weight of your breasts cause them to sag down a lot sooner… walking uphill will also be a challenge thanks to good ol’ gravity, causing you to walk benched over like an old lady.
8) When you’re on top (..you know..) that cute boobie jiggle you see in the movies, is replaced by the lavish throwing around of two camel sacks…. not the most erotic sight in my opinion.
9) Boob muffin top…. enough said.
10) Hugging people can be awkward…. For some men where there is no escaping the fact that your boobs just got pressed against their chest.and hard…. or hugging fellow big boobed friends where you don’t know who turns to which side so you end up with a semi-bumper-car-like air-hug.
11) Wearing strapless can be a nightmare. Often enough you strap them in so tight that you end up looking like Lolo Ferrari, or you don’t strap them in hard enough causing one (or both) to pop out at random intervals (not popular at weddings).
12) The cute, lacy and colorful bras are reserved for the A, B and C cuppers. (unless you are willing to spend a fortune). Once you start looking towards the D cups and up, you’re left with two fetching colors and all the comfort you need (but sadly no funky colors)
13) Breastfeeding an infant can be somewhat challenging, especially when your boob weighs more than your baby. Rather than focus on the healthy nutrition you are providing as a mom, you’re attention is set to making sure you don’t suffocate them.
14) Turning around in your home and actually knocking over something.
I would like to thank Kirsty, Makenzie, Asabi and Triana for their feedback on life with big jugs and the funny stories that came along with it!