A shift to a Stay-at-Home Mom

Hands down, I’ll (albeit quite guiltily) admit that, before I became a mom, I was one of those people who sometimes thought stay-at-home-moms had it just that little bit easier than working singletons who did 60 hour weeks. It didn’t take long for me to realize that was all a bunch of ‘crapoly’, and there is in fact no winner or loser in this underlying ‘who-works-the-hardest’ competition that seems to have been going on for generations.

I won’t lie to you, I don’t feel I was made to be a stay-at-home mom forever, and I plan to return back to the workforce, but I have developed a new level of respect for those who do it for the long haul!

It’s only been a short 10 months, so I’m far from an expert here (especially as I’m chickening out) but thought to share some of the things (good and the bad) that have come up when staying at home with our little fart machine.

1) You can push yourself an extra hour with a dead arm and lower back pain, just to keep your baby from napping that little longer on a long bus ride … (but can’t apply that same will power to push an extra 30 minutes on the cross trainer!)

2) You surprise yourself at how much you remember as you run out of nursery rhymes and end up singing the entire Disney collection… (Broadway here I come!)

3) You can eat, cook, get cash out, take a dump and wipe your a**… …all with one hand!

4) Following on that, you’ve suddenly become ambidextrous and can do all chores using either hand…… and could probably slap in a few toes as well if you weren’t so worries about transferring germs from the floor.

5) Although you have a great husband, friends and family available (be it in person or on Skype), there are days where you have never felt more lonely.

6) Your child’s pain in a thousand times worse than your own!

7) You have a ‘poop’ and ‘pee’ schedule….and not for your little one. You plan your poops during nap times and can hold in your pee for hours (I swear, who needs kegel exercises..).  For those parents who tell me : ‘Oh, just let them cry while you poop‘ I tell thee: There are two things I love most in this world… a good meal… and a good dump. I am already eating above the sink with one hand…. please let me have my trashy magazine on my throne in peace.

8) You ears might start bleeding (feels like) if you hear the ‘Bumba goes to the Circus’ theme song one more time

9) You don’t control, but sure as hell have a lot of input into, ‘what’ and ‘how’ your child learns and witness as they grow into their own little personality …..and that’s a pretty nice privilege to have!!

10) When you do get a chance to sit down for a minute, and perhaps watch half an episode of ‘True Blood’ (yep… I like trash…put me in an Eric and Jason sandwich any day) … you can’t help but feel guilty for sitting down and ‘relaxing’ while others are at work.

11) The sound of a good fart, will always be funny, no matter what age you are

mom

 

 

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